


=> Sollux, Schoolfeed the Noob

by maria_j_harper



Category: Homestuck
Genre: #angst, #pale romantic angst, #swearing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-11 08:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2061660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maria_j_harper/pseuds/maria_j_harper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember when Karkat asked why Sollux spent so much time teaching him to code when he was the worst student and Sollux just kind of stared pitifully?</p>
            </blockquote>





	=> Sollux, Schoolfeed the Noob

One time, when you’d been trying to teach him code, Karkat asked why you even bothered. You remember it like it was yesterday. Well, last week anyways.

Years in the past, but not many.

=> Sollux, teach the noob

Your name is Sollux Captor, and you must be the worst teacher in all of paradoxspace.  
That, or this douchebag is just the worst student.  
“2eriio2ly man, iit2 liike youre computer kryptoniite or 2omething.”  
“SHUT UP DOUCHE WIPE, I AM NOT. THIS CODE SCRIPT WAS JUST WRITTEN FOR STUPID WRIGGLERS WITH TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS. WHERE’S THE COMPUTER LANGUAGE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO GET SHIT GRUBFUCKING DONE?”  
“Iif youre a2king iif there2 a 2impler 2criipt, there2 not. youre already u2iing the one for pathetiic dumba22e2 with brain2 the 2iize of a peanut.”  
He tries the code again. And again. You’ll say this for KK, he’s a persistent little fucker.  
“no, 2ee, you want two put the demoliitiion command iin after the iinfiiltratiion codiing. iif you put iit before, iit wont actually get iin, 2o iit wont demoliish 2hiit. youd thiink youd have learnt 2iimple 2hiit liike this by now at lea2t.”  
“I KNOW. I’M THE WORST STUDENT IN THE WHOLE GRUBFUCKING WORLD. IT IS ME. AND THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING CONSIDERING THE KIND OF IDIOTIC SLIME WRIGGLERS I ASSOCIATE WITH. I DON’T KNOW WHY THE FUCK YOU EVEN BOTHER SPENDING ALL THIS TIME TRYING TO TEACH ME THIS SHIT. I’M NEVER GOING TO LEARN!” Karkat growls, sliding his hand across the keyboard in one last angry mash of jumbled, meaningless letters and symbols.  
Poor KK. He’s the only person you’ve ever met more self-deprecating than you. You wish... you wish you weren’t such a fucking ass-hole.  
A good friend would speak to him gently. A good friend would tell him how much progress he had made in code since you began. A good friend would tell him to stop feeling so sorry for himself, because so what if he couldn’t fucking code to save his life, he had lots of other great qualities. A good friend would have a feelings jam with him when he was vulnerable like this, instead of being a fucking douche. A good friend wouldn’t let him make himself miserable ever again, because he has no right going around acting so pitiful all the time.  
You’re so fucking pale for him.  
“SOLLUX?”  
Shit, had you been staring? You’d been staring, hadn’t you? “2orry, ii wa2 ju2t momentarily overwhelmed by the 2heer magniitude of your iidiiocy.”  
“HA, HA. ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME FIX THIS CODE OR WHAT?”

=> Sollux, tell Karkat how you feel.

That is possibly the worst idea you have ever had. Have you met you? You’re just about the biggest oozing douche muffin around. You, in a conciliatory relationship? There’s a laugh! You’re about as conciliatory as an angry cholerbear! As far as moirallegiance goes, pretty much anyone would be better for Karkat than you. Fucking Gamzee could probably do a better job. Okay, maybe not that guy, but anyone else.  
So instead of telling him that you tolerate his horrible coding skills because you pity the living fuck out of him, you turn your attention to the screen.  
“oh god damn iit kk, ii 2paced out for two 2econd2. how diid you manage to 2crew up 2o royally iin two fuckiing 2econd2? iit mu2t be a new per2onal record or 2omethiing.”  
You never did tell him how you felt. It’s probably one of your biggest regrets.


End file.
